


Connecting You Now

by kenwaylights



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, American Sign Language, Deaf Clint Barton, F/M, NSFW, Phone Sex, The Little Death, steve is NOT a blushing virgin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-25
Updated: 2015-07-25
Packaged: 2018-04-10 02:08:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4373105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kenwaylights/pseuds/kenwaylights
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's a late night for Natasha at the call interpretation centre where she works. She gets a call from Clint, and it's a wild ride from start to finish.</p><p>Inspired by the Monica/Sam scene from the film 'The Little Death.'</p>
            </blockquote>





	Connecting You Now

**Author's Note:**

> I hope Nat isn't out of character. I deviated her responses from Monica's a lot to try and keep her true to the Natalia Alianova Romanova we know and love.

Another long night for Natasha, it looked like. She stretched and waved to her coworker, Steve, before straightening back up and readjusting her headset. Hopefully, there would be some long calls to take up her time so she could go home sooner.

And thank her lucky stars, she had barely finished the thought when Skype started ringing! She clicked to answer and signed, "Hello! My name is Natasha and I will be your interpreter this evening. What number can I call for you?"

A blond man about her age, give or take a couple of years, sat in a messy bedroom at the other end of the call. He waved and then signed the number for her to dial.

She dialled and held up the sign to tell him that the phone was ringing. "Hello, you've reached Fine Fuck. What can I do for you tonight?" asked the woman on the line.

Natasha paused for a moment, not sure that he had given her the right number. "Um, hold on for a second, please," she told the lady from Fine Fuck while she signed to the caller, "Are you sure this is the right number?"

He nodded somewhat sheepishly.

"This is an 'adult line.'"

He signed back, "I'm an adult."

She shook her head slightly and inhaled sharply. "What do you want?" she asked him.

"What do they have?" he replied.

"Okay, what have you got?" Natasha asked the woman.

"We've got everything. Straights, lesbians, three-ways, young girls, older girls, gay men..." The lady prattled on and on while Natasha just gaped a bit, signing for her client to hold. "...Midgets, blondes, redheads, you name it. We've got different girls for different things."

"So? What do they have?" pressed the caller.

"Straights and blondes," she lied.

"That's it?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." _Well, this ought to be interesting..._ She was already feeling a bit awkward. Natasha wasn't a prudish person by any means, but hell, shit was about to get weird.

"Straight blonde," the man responded with a slightly annoyed and more than somewhat disappointed expression, running a hand through his hair. He was more into redheads, but okay.

"Connecting you now," the Fine Fuck woman replied cheerily.

Within a moment, another woman picked up the phone with a breathy voice with obvious intent to sound seductive. Nat was not impressed. "Hey, who's this?"

"Hi, I'm Natasha, and I'm—"

"You sound _cute_ , Natasha. You know, I'm not usually into girls, but I could make an exception..."

"Ahah, no, I work for a Deaf phone service, I interpret calls for Deaf clients via Skype using American Sign Language," she explained. "I have a man here who wanted to call your service. Just talk to me as if I'm him."

"Wait, so he's deaf?" the sex worker asked, all attempts at being sexy quit.

"Yes...?" _Had I been unclear? I said 'deaf,' like, twice._

"Can he see me?"

"No, just me."

"Can he hear me?"

"No, he's deaf, he probably can't hear a lot of things." Okay, so this woman was not very smart.

"Well, what does he look like?"

"Uh... He's cute, I guess. Blond, muscular, got a couple Band-Aids on his face though."

The other woman chuckled. "Okay, ask his name."

"What's your name?" Natasha asked her caller.

"Clint," he replied with a smile, giving his name sign as well as spelling it out for her.

"'Clint.'"

" _Fuck_ , that was slow!" the sex worker griped.

"Yeah, sorry, there's gonna be a bit of a delay."

"Whatever." She resumed her sexy voice, though she knew it wouldn't really matter, "What are you wearing, Clint?"

Natasha put on a seductive face to effectively convey the tone while she signed.

"Boxer shorts," Clint answered.

"Is he really?" the Fine Fuck woman asked in little more than a whisper when Nat relayed the information to her.

"No," the redhead snorted. "He's wearing a purple hoodie."

"Don't tell her that!" he signed, upset.

"Hold on for a second," she told the worker before signing, "What?"

"Don't tell her I'm wearing a hoodie," he whined.

"I didn't!"

"I can read your lips."

Nat sat there, stunned, for a moment.

"But I'll forgive you because you called me cute."

"I did _not_!"

"I can read your lips, _Natasha_ ," he repeated, smirking.

"Hello?!" the prostitute demanded.

"Hi, sorry! Um, where were we?"

"Just— Ugh. Tell him to take off the shorts."

"...Okay, shorts are off."

"Oh, God, I'm so wet," the woman moaned into the phone. Natasha had to put most of her effort into not making a disgusted face as she interpreted for Clint. She was really quite unimpressed with this employee of Fine Fuck.

"Um...now what?" she asked when neither of them offered any response.

"Well, does he wanna put it in my mouth, or what?"

"Can we just assume he's gonna say yes to that?"

"Just fuckin' translate!" A bit more awkwardly than was her norm, Natasha signed the question to her caller. Steve, who was watching the whole ordeal from a cubicle diagonally behind her, had a shit-eating grin on as he was trying not to laugh at the sign for "blowjob." Nat resisted the urge to shoot him a glare but flipped him off under the desk where Clint couldn't see.

"Shit, of all nights, it fuckin' _had_ to be tonight! My _God_ , woman! Fucking...!" A long flurry of curses erupted from the Fine Fuck employee's end.

Nat stopped signing halfway through, signed to hold and said, "Uh, sorry, but I don't follow."

"Aw, shit, don't tell him any of that! My grandma's having a stroke. Hold on, just lemme help her a sec."

"What do you want me to do?"

"Just tell him how good his dick feels! It's easier than it looks, I promise! Just hold on a minute. Tell him to put it in."

 _Of_ _fucking course I had to be the one to take this call,_ Natasha groaned inwardly.

"Hard or slow?" Clint inquired.

Because he could read her lips, she knew she had to pretend that the worker was still there, so she asked no one in particular, "Would you like it hard or slow?" She paused, then signed, "She says, 'Slow.'"

"But I want to fuck her hard!"

"She said, 'Slow'!"

"It's my money."

 _Fair_ _enough_. "'Kay, he changed his mind. He wants to do it hard." To him, she added, "In the future, start slow and then build up to hard. Works wonders, I promise."

Clint smirked.

"Okay, now what do you want to do?"

"Switch to in the ass."

There was a moment when Nat forgot that she was supposed to be fake-interpreting. When she caught herself, she hoped Clint hadn't noticed, but he looked at her expectantly with his eyebrows lifted.

Natasha immediately started signing "excited" and "heavy breathing" to convey the sound of sexual panting and moaning, but Clint didn't buy it for a heartbeat.

"She's not even there, is she?" he snapped.

"She is, just hang on...!"

"Alright, I'm back—"

"THANK GOD," Natasha exclaimed. "I screwed up—"

"Yeah-yeah-yeah, where are we?"

"He's fucking you hard...in the ass, I think?"

"Okay, does he wanna put it in my mouth now?"

"But it's just been in your ass."

"Just ask him, f'chrissake!"

So she did, to which he responded, "But it's just been in her ass."

At that point, Nat lost it.

She just couldn't quit laughing. Why? Who knows. It just got to be too hilarious for her.

Clint was humoured as well, laughing just the same.

The sex worker was not pleased and was shouting obscenities.

"Hang up!" Clint told her repeatedly.

She did hang up, and when she pulled it together, she told him, "I'm so sorry."

"It's okay, I should have known this was going to get crazy."

"So what are you doing up so late anyway?"

"Insomnia."

"Oh... What do you do?"

"I'm kind of between jobs at the moment, actually. But I've got my dog to keep me company."

"You have a dog?"

"Yeah!" Clint whistled and a dog came bounding into view, hopping up halfway into his human's lap. The dog looked like a retriever mix and he was missing an eye. "This is Lucky, also known as Pizza Dog. He's my good boy." Clint picked up one of Lucky's paws and waved it at the webcam as Lucky licked his human's hand. The whole ordeal earned a chuckle from Nat.

"Do you have another call waiting?"

"No."

"Then don't go."

**Author's Note:**

> As a Deaf person, let me tell you this now: reading lips is not always accurate and it is very difficult. So while Clint/Sam likely wouldn't have understood 100%, the word "cute" did register, at least.  
> If you ever write Clint as reading lips, just be sure to keep that in mind. :)


End file.
